Nicole vs. Life
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
