I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
check it out our google latitudes are spooning
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
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