i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Randomize