You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
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