The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
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