yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
Why is there bacon in the couch?
Randomize
