Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
