we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
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