Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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