Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Randomize
