I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
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