i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
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