i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
Randomize
