Everything about him screamed your future.
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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