Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
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