The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Randomize
