Got a toothbrush?
I just projectile vomited in a Methodist church parking lot. If Jesus didn't love me before he sure as hell doesn't now.
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
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