ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
Randomize