they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
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then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
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Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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