i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
Crop dusting thru forever 21
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