Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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