Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
Randomize
