i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
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