After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
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