All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
