i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Randomize
