Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
