I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
Randomize
