i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
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