i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
Randomize
