What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize