piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
Randomize
