oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
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