Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
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I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
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Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
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