she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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