i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
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I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
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hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
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