that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
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