can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize
