She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
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The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
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Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
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