im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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