My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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