woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
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