the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
Randomize
