terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Randomize
