We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
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I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
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