I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
