We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
Randomize
