Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
Randomize
