I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
nutella sex= disaster
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Randomize
