Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
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