What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
