The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
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