You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
Randomize
