Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up and there is a food processor in my purse. Someone else's framed family photo. My front door is wide open and my gerbil is playing in the water bong.
Yeah I'm going to bathe him.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
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