did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
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