That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Randomize
