we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
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