And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
