what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
Randomize
